Overcome my fear

Assalamualaikum and hello there, people.

Happy Eid. Its been a month since I don't update my blog. I'm having a bad hiatus, FYI.

Shall we begin?

Lately, I was so happy with my school life. Met my crazy yet wacko friends, learned something new with my fellow teachers, stalking my crush everyday and I always eat something good though! Frankly, I got lots of homework yet to be submit by Monday but yeah you know, I decided to stay in front of the computer. Tweeting, instagramming, facebooking and blogging. Nvm, I'll make it by tomorrow. It's Sunday anyway.

But I was not that happy. Yesterday something hit me like a bullet going through my heart. I felt a sharp pain. I'm terrified. I'm scared of loosing something. Something or someone that I love the most. And from that incident, I realized that my life would be change. From now. But I was afraid. I'm afraid that I couldn't overcome these things. 

I've live for 16 years until today. I never loosing someone that I love the most. Normally, when I go home or going to school, people that I love always there, I always see them. They never go, accept the one that decided to leave me. The one who stay with me that I'm afraid to loose. 

But, according to His rules, all living things would be dead soon. No one would stay alive. Only He can do it. He would stay alive. We as His slaves couldn't denied qada' and qadar'. I'm not a pious Muslim but I'm afraid of denying my qada' and qadar. I've got so many sins and I don't always thanked him what I've got until now. That's why, I'm living like hell. 

But I wanted to change. I'm improving myself to change. 

Usually, there would be someone would sleep on the couch when I went home. That person would stay at the living room once I get back home. That person would stay in front of the TV sharp 8. He would never late even a second. He likes to ask so many questions, what makes me felt so annoyed sometimes. He would asked me too make coffee or cappuccino, his favorite drink once a week since he couldn't drank that everyday.  He would stay late until 12 midnight just because of 'Berita Dunia' , his only favorite show. He would watching '30 minit Ustaz Don' with me sometimes until late at night. 

I'm talking about my dearest grandfather. Mighty grandfather. 

I just want to asked you who are reading this, pray for him. Give him a piece of your dua'. I don't have any partner now to watch any of the 30 Minit Ustaz Don, our favorite show. Please, one of your dua' would make him feel better again. And only Allah would grant you happiness and blessing from the dua'.

Peace be upon you. Have a blast.

Take care,

Anne.