Flocks.

It's December, and I would like to end this year with this post. 

So today, a day before Christmas, just like a usual humid day in here. I went to work, settled down works, and went to a house where it was belongs to Mum's best friend's. I know them for years, they know me since I was born.

So I thought I would be comfy around them.

Little did I know, when I went there, there're so many people which was their families occupied the entire house. A small sqft house with two rooms was filled with many people. Those people were happy.  Then, my panic mood was attacked. My self-esteem went low, the lowest that I can remember even I was wearing my dark red lipstick at that moment.

I promised myself that I will be bold that day, no matter what.

So by the time I was in awkward position behind mum all the time, I realized one thing.

I once being so jealous with this family. I once pray silently in myself that I wanted to change my family to this family.

But when I walked into the house today, with such noises, I realized that my current family is way more comforting. We're not as loud as them, will never be but I always find comfort between. They're loud, happier and having each other, but to me, there's one missing piece that I can't describe how I feel.

There's strike in my head that says "I find it better at home than here. Yet I was the one who wanted to change and granted the wish. Now, I don't want to." 

No matter how your family treated you, mocked you, get annoyed to you, I would say I can't find any comfort more than I feel at home when I'm with them. It's already has the reasons why I was sent into this home, to this family. Some of the families I get in between, I would never think it would be the same.


And it never would.


Thank you Allah SWT for Your Mercy to make me realized this. I would close my 2017 with ease and joy. Sometimes I forget to open up my eyes to see on the other side, and You make me. 

I will never forget this day, and this lesson. 


Love,
Na