Self-Love

Those things hit me a lot this week. I need to cope with the fast pace at school, struggling to fight the lonely environment I had after class, Capri's crack bumper and his windscreen, his service was already in time and so on. 

They say when you bought a car, you need to treat him like your baby. In my case, all I ever hurt Capri the most was on his lip's bumper were I struggled a lot (without telling everyone) how bad I felt when I hit him on that place. 

Shits happened. Well, if shit didn't happened how are you gonna survive few years more? 

So when those shits happened, who are you gonna calling for help? For me, all I have to be depending on, is myself. 

I don't understand a thing in class, and next week would be a mini test on that topic. Who am I gonna call for helping me to get through it?

Myself. I need to study more. More and more until I ended up muntah depan laptop. 

When Capri's service is already due, who am I gonna call for help to send him to the service centre? 

Myself. I need to find time to send him to the service centre before its going to be broke down on the street. 

I woke up and saw nothing on the table for a breakfast. Who am I gonna call for help buying me nasi lemak and roti canai? 

Myself. I need to start my engine, otherwise I ended up eating other people. 

I encountered a very unmanner man that treat me wrong, even I am a girl. Who am I gonna call for help to face him?

Myself. I need to defend myself if he assaulted me or hurt me. 

You know, even sometimes you are the one who needs to be your shining armor. Some might had one, and yours are not yet to arrive. So what are you gonna do while waiting him to arrive at the perfect timing? 

Depending on your self, self-love is a must. 

Self-love doesn't mean you need to brag about how clever, pretty you are, but self-love is like you're appreciating yourself, the way you are, you're not depending on someone and get mad when they doesn't help--because you know a strong girl is not depending herself onto someone. Self-love also makes you feel happier. 

I tried to love myself more, mostly on the part where nobody cheered onto. I wanted to love myself more on how stubborn I am, how I fight for justice even I know there's no chances and how I fight for people that I love the most. 

And you, yes. We're all struggling. But if you're encountered something that you might think that you can't settle down, think that all that left is you. 

Yes, you. You're the one who can weep all the mess. You and your brain, your skills, your sass. 

Cry, if you want. Then, get up. 

You'll get there, eventually. 

Love, 

Anne